Some light entertainment at a Tea Party Rally

We followers of the Tea Party Movement pride ourselves on being just average Americans – not latte-drinking pinkos like those that oppose us. We’re not bigots, we just have strong opinions.

And we have all kinds of people as followers.  We don’t discriminate against everyone.  We do welcome all White, Christian Americans to join us. To illustrate the point,  take a look at the picture above, taken at a recent Tea Party Rally.

That’s right folks.   We even have gimps and midgets in our group.  And we welcome them (usually).

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCare^TM:

• Under CompromiseCare^TM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
• Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
• You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
• States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
• You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
• You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
• A patient will be considered “pre-existing” if he or she already exists.
• You’ll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
• Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is “Lieberman.”
• You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.